I quit my job and, a year later, I finally allowed myself to start day 1.

Here, I have put together a year-long journal beginning in 2022. I decided to quit a well-paid job and become a full-time dream chaser.

Now, I am generally happy, even though it is still challenging and I have not accomplished anything yet. I want to share this long story for those out there who may feel alone.

Before I begin, let me make it clear that ‘chasing your dream’ may not be the right choice for everyone. There is no right choice. There are only the choices we make and those we don’t. But if I hadn’t chosen this path, I would never have known.

0.) I Quit… to Begin Again.

If you don’t like rants, please skip this topic.

Before I made my life this hard, I felt like shit. Every day, I felt like I was in jail. There was nothing wrong with my previous job. It was just me who didn’t allow myself to get out of the jail and do what I felt was right.

It was me who had locked myself in this mental jail.

I was a UX consultant who had done it all to achieve my mission. From user research to UI, from business strategy to growth hacks, I had dedicated my all to this career because I felt that this job could fulfill my mission — to create experiences that drive people’s hearts. ❤️

Why did I feel this way? I felt fulfilled whenever I saw people interact with my work and feel or do a certain thing. That’s why I became a UX consultant in the first place.

But kids, jobs are just jobs. Don’t expect them to meet your perfect life.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my previous job. It was the best tech consulting company in Thailand in terms of culture and work-life balance. Although there were some client projects that were the exception, just like any other job.

It’s funny, isn’t it? ‘UX’ is supposed to create a great experience for users (aka people). I had delivered good experiences to users, but I wasn’t skilled enough to get permission from those above to try something more creative and heartfelt in experience design. (Because it’s risky and I need to prove every step of it. Yes, I tried, but man, the developers were so ready to start coding.)

I used many sources like politics and more. I practiced to perfect them, but deep down I just wanted to sit and create things without being in meetings all day long and working all night long to present them the next morning.

I tried for 5 years (Wait… that’s short, you might say), but I don’t know if I want to try even longer. I was poorly slept and developed a mental health issue.

Things got worse when COVID allowed us to be in meetings longer every day.

My problem was that I didn’t have the authority to make decisions or play with possibilities. The decision maker had a different background from me, so I had to work on my soft skills instead of starting to build what I believed. I obsessed over how to be better for the client, but it came with insomnia as I had a rude client who tried to use their authority in an inappropriate way. (My teammates mostly quit for this reason too.)

The day before I resigned, I was working and being anxious for 48 hours straight. At the 49th hour, I resigned.

I could have moved to another company, but as I had worked as a consultant who worked with many companies in the past years, I had seen enough examples to try something else. (Every country has a different business style and how they use their human resources.)

Again, the problem was all from me, not the job. It’s how I allowed people and problems to become too personal.

Then, depression paid me a visit.

I lost my soul for doing anything.

I didn’t want to live like this.

I went to see doctors. My family helped me. My friends were too kind to me. My boyfriend hugged me until I felt better.

I revisited my mission — To create creative experiences that drive people’s hearts. But I need to enjoy the way of doing it too. Even if I never reach my mission, I still love every second I’m alive.

I looked up at the wall above my desk.

“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” — Thich Nhat Hanh

It has been there since high school. My younger self really had an innate sense of how I might forget why I do things. She put the quote there along with this quote…

“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” — unknown

I opened my eyes with the last tear drop. I had made a decision.

Being a creative (and chaotic) creature, I chose to do whatever I could to maximize my authority to make MY creative decisions.

I finally quit my well-paid job.

1.) I made sure I will not starve.

Quit company job = no salary

No monthly money..

I need salary after I quitted. Is it possible?

I have 1 month to think and prepare myself before I officially no salary.

I used to work for money, but now that I have quit, I have changed my philosophy. I work to build my own assets.

By assets, I mean things that give me passive income and allow me to be creative.

Yes, my ex-client company investors, I am jealous of you! You can always push designers to draw your designs.

But before I can do that, I need a base asset to make sure I can buy food every month.

There are ways to build your own asset by that definition. You can buy stocks or invest in bonds. You can write a book or own an engaging YouTube channel.

However, in my opinion and experience:

1. Start with an area you are comfortable with. Forget your life mission for a bit (yeah, I hate my old things already at this point, but it makes money fast).
2. Build it before you release both hands off the cliff.
3. It must not eat up all your time forever to build. For me, building a business and freelancing were my last options (BUSYness is in the name!).
4. If you have a shortcut that you feel ashamed to do, but it’s not a crime or hurting anyone, DO IT. You are pivoting your life for yourself. Don’t waste time worrying.

I borrowed money from my parents and invested in a condo. I hate doing it and feel like I betrayed my pride and family, but I promised to sell it in the future and share the profit like a bond manager. It’s a win-win for us. Then I put it on rental. That’s my first child, base asset checked.💰✅

I gained a comfortable amount of knowledge about real estate. I have been searching for 2–3 weeks almost every day after work and weekends, walking in Thailand’s hot temperature in a target area, and I got a great deal. The timing was great, Covid was almost gone, and expats came back as I thought, so I got a great rental price.💰✅

I also sell my knowledge by teaching an online course about user research in Thai. Every course purchased gives me a percentage. That’s my second base asset checked.💰✅

Also, my boyfriend has been buying me food whenever he could!! (PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME). (He said I could put him in my asset category, so…) Special base asset checked 🤣💰✅

And, of course, my pocket money from years of hard work for other people’s dream. I invested in bonds — that’s checked too.💰✅

2.) Starting Somewhere

To begin, I think about the asset I want to build. Since it falls in the creative category, I start by learning art.

My mission is simple: to create a creative experience that touches people’s hearts. Art and story could be essential components in achieving that.

I used to draw for fun since elementary school. In my country, being an artist is considered risky, but now that I can afford it, I decided to invest in my skills by purchasing an online art class. My goal is to become a well-known artist whose art books and assets for games people will buy.

I also believe that comics can have a great impact on people’s hearts. So, I’m learning storytelling and the elements of comics as well.

However, I eventually realized that I may have to spend years to make my art better and better, which is the same for any path I could take. But, do I feel excited about the work I could do? A comic book? An art piece? Not really.

My brain kept thinking about different ways I could make people feel or do things to experience it better. My UX brain kept ideating what if they could interact with the story. The “creative” part was still not complete.

Sure, art and comics alone can express creativity. But it may not be the kind of creativity I admire.

I want it to be immersive, interactive, quirky, smart, an experience that connects to the way individuals process the world.

…I want to build a digital product that is fun.

…I want to build a game.

I started with my past skills, then let myself learn more about art to complete the picture.

Is it my passion? No one knows until I start doing it. The most important thing I want to test is whether I like how I have to work.

However, I don’t know how to code a single line! But it sounds so much fun (in my head), and I could be super creative about how it would experience people.

3.) I create pixel art and manage social media.

As the coding part of game development can be overwhelming, I started by choosing an art style that could help me build fast visual elements while still being appealing and great for storytelling. I picked pixel art because it’s cute and I grew up with pixel games ❤.

My first set of pixel art looks like this…

As I studied more, I found that pixel art is very logical. Normally, any art can be logical as there are theories to adapt from. But pixel art has certain rules to make the art appealing, which I found easy to follow. For example, pixel art can be jagged if a pixel is misplaced.

As I drew more and more of them, I grew to love pixel art even more.

Ultimately, I want to keep making games and sell them to make money to feed myself so I can keep going. But first, I need to make sure there are people interested in my work before I launch.

I tried it all — Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, Reddit, DeviantArt, etc. and I learned one thing:

Start with 2 social media platforms at most.

Why?

1. Each social media platform has its own ways to reach people. Starting with a few makes it less complicated.
2. I want to spend time interacting with other people.
3. I want to spend my time creating quality content instead of spending all day on feeds.

I plan to stick with 2 social media platforms until forever if I can. Managing them all is daunting. I want to keep it small or until I need specific things that the current platforms do not provide.

I revisited Twitter and Instagram hoping to connect with people.

I continue using my Twitter (which used to be an illustration art account) to connect with other pixel artists out there. I’m happy that the Twitter community is encouraging for pixel art, and that means a lot for someone who just started doing art.

At first, I felt hopeless. I didn’t know why no one saw me. But when I realized people are on hashtag searches like #pixelart, the recent post of a small account also got likes and retweets! So it’s about art quality.

Instead of being sad and telling myself no one loves my art, I focused on making better art

My Pixel art are getting better and better ❤

Because of the friends I made in the #pixelart community, I can finally reach more than 100 likes on a tweet!

I tried many platforms, but I ended up not being too active on them. I keep my Instagram updates similar to my Twitter posts to keep things minimal. Instagram doesn’t really help with organic growth like Twitter does, so I use it as a gallery. I also have a Facebook page, but everything is connected from Instagram, so it’s easy to post in one place and go.

Finally, I use Linktree to be a hub for all my channels. Plus, I can place this link on every platform’s account page.

4.) I was in the process of choosing a game engine, but ended up studying Computer Science instead! 🔥🔥

Starting from scratch is hard. I cried a lot, and at one point, I almost gave up and went back to my boring job.

I started with picking a game engine because I heard the magic phrase:

“Building you own game with NO CODE”

No code?! I thought to myself. I’m sure I can do this. So I spent too much time picking an engine, only to find out that:

NO CODE engine = you don’t have to write code, BUT building blocks still inherit how computers speak.

“What is this loop function and why do I need it?! I just want to show an inventory page!” That was me six months ago, with no idea why NO CODE was still so hard. If you know code, you may have already answered that in your head with a smug smile. But if you don’t, you may be confused, and that’s exactly how I felt.

I felt stupid for not being able to understand those no-code engines because it should be EASY. I consulted with my boyfriend and learned that:

Computers have a certain way of speaking. I can’t just say “give me an apple that jumps” and wait for the magic to happen. I need to provide clear instructions on how to load the apple, how to receive input from the user, and how the jump should behave.

I wanted to understand how computers speak, so I picked up this free course from HarvardX — CS50. I will soon write a summary of what it’s like and update it in this blog.

5.) Learning Godot while building my first game (& How I Manage It)

After months of CS50, I was able to choose any game engine without the condition “I can’t code” — I chose Godot because it is lightweight, free, and has a great community.

I started with the GDQuest classes. After trying their intro, I purchased them because they are full of step-by-step guides that are less frustrating compared to CS50 homework.

(Top) GDQuest chapter beautifully list step by step on Godot 3.5 // (Buttom) My game on Godot 4

My boyfriend set up my game project for me, and I also started building my game in parallel with studying GDQuest. I used Linear app to create a Kanban board (a list of fragmented tasks I need to do to finish my game) for my game, but I also put class chapters as spike cards (tasks to understand tools or technology before building). With this system, I can decide which chapter to pick up that is related to a certain thing I am building.

It’s important for me to have someone to bounce ideas off of or reflect with because when I get lost in making too many sprite animations, I have a reminder to look at the big picture and focus on important features.

I used Aesprite to create pixel art sprites, and I also studied animation to make sure my game looks appealing. Unlike UX work in a corporate setting, I have a “cuteness factor” that I have to low-key “awwwww” in my head when I finish a sprite piece. That makes me so happy about making things on my own decision.

My first game is a 2048 game, but you can collect CATS! It’s not a new concept, but I chose an easy mechanic to suit my current coding skills. The 2048 game is where players can combine matched numbers to reach 2048. If the board is filled, the game is over. With collecting cats, players will enjoy seeing and collecting different cats in each run. It’s pretty addictive when I let my friends play test it.

I chose a relatively easy mechanic game to start with so I have energy to go far.

By the time I finished this long journal, my game was already functional, and I had encountered a lot of bugs, so I decided to spend my time writing a journal to clear my head.

I decided to keep writing (or vlogging?) to update on my game-making progress (aka Devlog) to find my community ❤. I will mandatory update on Medium and also itch.io game page. I will talk more about details on art direction, code logic, management, and more. For now, you can see short updates on my Twitter.

I often feel like I’m walking alone on an unknown road, so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not hesitate to connect and talk to me.

❤❤❤

Thank you for reading this far,

Please stay tuned for my next update :)

Love,

Kuppy